A new beginning:Really?

Disclaimer [of The Previous Entry]: A moment of weaknes.. well sort of. I realized the consequence but several who knows the story told me to confront him. Out of [avoiding awkward moments] respect, I don't think I will. I was planning to delete the entry but decided not to since I want to acknowledge it. It's there. 

Anyways, haven't write for a while because I have something to tell but just can't find the words to say it. Mostly about how upset I am with what happens in Gaza and my major disappointment in Obama. Currently I am trying to help as much as I can in ways that is possible for me to do, which is very little. I hope I can do more. I talked to many people about this and many says that the only way that we can help is through donation. Of course that is the solution for their short term survival. What about their future? their kids especially? Honest to God, I can't bear thinking of what happens to the children. I can't help but think the trauma they will have to endure (if they survive) by seeing this tragedy. What will become of them? Although, like a good friend of mine pointed it out, the Israelies' armies are targeting the children on purpose. 

I am sure some of you have read this story in The Star, but I would still like to share it with you. 

Kids – victims of senseless war

REPORTING FROM GAZA
By SHAHANAAZ HABIB

GAZA CITY: It was past noon on Jan 7 when Khaled Hamad Abed Rabo noticed three Israeli tanks in front of his house.

One of the soldiers, who spoke Arabic, told the family to get out.

Holding a white flag, Khaled stepped outside with his mother, wife and their three daughters — Amal, two, Samar, four and Soad who just turned seven.

Ruined lives: Nabawiyah Abed Rabo and her children standing in front of what was once their home in Azbet Abed Rabo in Jabaliya. Children are often the victims of war.

“We saw two soldiers outside the tank eating chocolates and chips. They didn’t say anything to us so we just stood there. Then another soldier came out of his tank and started shooting the children,” said an incredulous Khaled yesterday when met outside his destroyed home in Azbet Abed Rabo in Jabaliya.

“He started with the youngest. He shot Amal first. She was standing next to me. I heard her scream and fall. When I picked Amal up, he shot Samar in the stomach and then Soad.”

Khaled said his wife was so shocked that she fainted, adding that the soldier shot his mother three times in the arm. He grabbed Amal, Samar, his mother and wife and ran into the house.

“I had to leave Soad outside because she was already dead.

“While this soldier was shooting, the other two soldiers who were eating chocolates and chips continued eating.”

A neighbour who worked with a clinic had an ambulance and tried to reach them when he heard Khaled’s children screaming.

But the Israeli soldiers shot at the ambulance, forcing the neighbour to retreat. Then, they crushed the ambulance with a tank.

Five minutes later, Amal died in Khaled’s arms.

The Khaled and his terror-stricken family stayed inside the house, but after two hours they felt it was too dangerous to stay.

So, Khaled and his brothers who live next door in the same apartment complex come out together and try to make it to safety.

“When we came out, the soldiers shot into the sky and ground to scare us but they allowed us to leave. One of my brothers carried Soad’s body and I carried Amal while another one of my brothers held Samar,” said Khaled.

“A few hundred metres away, we saw a donkey cart and its ow ner came to help us. But a soldier shot the driver and the donkey. Both of them died.”

Khaled said the family then walk 2.5km until they found a taxi to take them to hospital.

His mother is now recovering, his wife is still mentally traumatised; while Samar is totally paralysed and is being treated in a Belgium hospital.

When Khaled came back after the ceasefire, he found his house reduced to a pile of rubble. He hunted for photographs of his girls but found none.

So, he has been coming back every day since the ceasefire from 7am to 7pm to sit by his home “because my memories are here.”

“My children were always playing around, doing funny things and I can’t accept that they are gone,” he added.

“Soad — she was so clever. She was always coming in first in class and loved computers and the Internet. And Amal, she was so beautiful.”

Khaled said he feels a huge pain in his heart over the loss.

He has no idea why the soldier shot the kids instead of him.

“I did not expect anyone to do such things to kids. Not even in a scary movie,” he said.

When Israel attacked Gaza on Dec 27, Khaled did not evacuate his home because he had been down that road before.

He said in March last year, Israeli tanks had rolled in with 400 soldiers who made his home their hotel for four days.

“They left the house in a mess but they did not kill anyone then,” he said.

Now, he says, he is not sure if he will even rebuild his home because “whom do I build it for? Israel took my family and my home.”

Asked whether he was afraid of Israel now after what they had done, Khaled replied: “When I had a family and my daughters, I was afraid. Now that they have killed my family, I have nothing to fear.”

Khaled, who has worked in Israel, says he likes Israelis in general and is not angry with the people over what has happened.

“I am angry with the Israeli army. I want Israeli citizens to get out of their homes and ask the army what they did and why they did it,” he said.