Friday, May 09, 2008
The experts always say that everytime you encounter a challenge, confront it. Never run. I wonder if these experts have ever have my challenges.
It's true in theory and yes it sounds really motivating. Let's get real though. As if having the problems is not bad enough, now we have someone telling us that we are not brave enough by running.
Is running really that bad?
It depends. There are some problems that you have to deal head on. However, there are cases that you have dealt with it so many times that it left you emotionally dried and yet nothing has changed.
It is like finding a needle in a huge stack of hays in a building with the size of Midvalley Megamall plus the new Garden. Do we want to keep on searching? Or can we go to seven eleven and buy a new needle or better yet, a new sweater at Nichis?
When we deal with the same thing so many times, the chances of the problem to be solved getting slimmer. Yet through the process, we wasted time and energy to do something that resulted in nothing. Worst yet, we might lose faith. An optimist could easily become a pessimist.
What would you do then? Do you keep on trying or are you allowed to run?
For a change, let me suggest to you something that is rather radical and might enrage all those motivational speakers. Stop trying. Stop solving and see how it would work out. It might surprise you that when you stop trying, things just fall back into places.
Besides, there are some things that can only be mend with time. And time never work well with those who suffers.
Then again, life is never that simple. In between the black and white, there is a stinking huge wide gap of gray. It might work, it might not work. But what have you got to lose?
Give it a thought.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
When is enough is enough?
I saw a mentally challenged person today. She is my client's mother. He did not tell us that his mother has this condition until she suddenly came into his office and started screaming hysterically. He was extremely embarrassed but not once raised his voice. After a while, the mother left. He took sometime to lift his eyes to meet us but we waited patiently. He apologized repeatedly. I tried my best to tell him that he has nothing to be embarrassed about and we are okay.
He then explained that his mother had a mental breakdown 8 months ago, after his father passed away. He said that his family knew that even before his father passed away that his mother was going through something. She was depressed for quite sometimes. Since she never said anything, they did not ask. They assumed that she must be able to handle whatever she was dealing with or else she would say something. Unfortunately she never said anything and whatever that was building inside her exploded the day her husband passed away.
Later that day, I keep on thinking about what happened. The questions that keeps nagging at the back of my mind is, how bad is it? Why did not she tell someone? And finally, when is the breaking point?
I cannot help but think back of all my depressed days. I took some psychology classes, so I know a little bit about the symptoms of people going through depression. One of the symptoms is that not wanting to leave the bed or even do anything. Whenever I feel like going through this, I always push myself to at least leave the bed to wash my face. That is all the push it needs, everything else will slowly fall into place. The worst thing when you reach the stage of not wanting to leave the bed is that, you don't really want to talk to anyone. Pushing someone to talk at this stage is a waste of time or would even make it worse. They will talk only when they feel like talking.
I know that this is more of Lina Ideris's area and I am no expert. However, I think when someone reach this stage, what they need is just attention. Whether a small talk or a touch of hand or simply by just being there next to them would help. Any amount of love is appreciated.
So, the question: When is the breaking point? When would you know that enough is enough?
The answer might be 'never' when it comes to love. However, in depression, whenever the question is triggered, the answer will always be 'Now' and it's time for story telling.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
One summer ago, a boy had changed my life.
It was a hot summer and I was getting suffocated with work that I decided to take some time off. As soon as my weekend started, I packed my things, filled up my tank and just hit the wheel. I have no idea where I was going, all I know is that I need some fresh air. I finally ended up on a rather deserted beach.
After checking in, I decided to take a walk down the beach. I could not really get near to the beach since there were thousands of starfishes washed out along the beach. Since I just wanted to clear my head, I did not mind the beach nor the water. I continued walking until I saw a boy, not far from me, throwing a starfish, one by one back to the water. It striked me the act was rather foolish since there were too many starfish, but I did not say a word. I just watch him from afar and turned back to the inn where I was staying.
On the next day, before checking out, I took my last walk on that beach. And then there the boy was, still throwing starfishes into the water. This time, I just stood there and watched him do it repeatedly. When I could not contain my curiosity any longer, I walked up close to him. If he was shocked to see me, he did not show it.
"Can I help you, sir? He asked me politely. His hands were still clutching to a starfish and his tone, the way he carried it, sound as if he was distracted from doing an important job. He might as well be.
"Well, I was actually rather curious about what you are doing actually. I was here yesterday too and I noticed that you have been throwing starfishes into the sea. So, if you don't mind telling me, what is it exactly you are doing? It seems that you are rather obsessed with it"
"Well, I'm saving them sir. They belong to the water" He answered innocently. I almost smiled, he must have thought I am a foolish person for asking this. I then tried to rephrase my sentence again, trying not to sound too idiotic this time.
"I know that. It is just that, don't you think it is rather foolish? I mean, look at this beach, there must be thousands of them. It would not even make a difference. You throw one into the water but there will be at least another 10 coming in. It would not even matter" I added the last sentence slowly, it was barely a whisper though I believed that he must have heard me because he suddenly looked at me.
The boy then lowered his head and stared long into one of the starfish in his hand. I soon feel sorry that I might have discourage him. As I was still struggling with my words to comfort him, he suddenly looked at me and raised his hand with the starfish in it. Then he gently throw it into the water.
"It matters to that one sir" He said in a as a-matter-of-factly voice, and just continue picking another starfish and throwing them into the water and then another.
I was stunned by his answer. There he was, a boy, realized that it does not matter to the result at large but only thinking on the one he is holding. Then I realize too, no matter how small a deed is, it still will change at least someone's life.
Then I picked up a starfish.
- The story was told by one of the trainer for Etiqa Brand Vision Training. It was a rather short story but is modified by me, to add a little life & spice to it. =)
Friday, May 02, 2008
My dear dear cousin tagged me! 8 random facts about me..
haha how random are we talking about? =)
- Link to your tagger and post these rules.
- List eight (8) random facts about yourself.
- Tag eight people at the end of this post and list their names.
- Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving them a comment on their blogs.
- I just recently learned to play Sudoku and now I am addicted to it.
- I hate lotus notes.
- For the past 2 months, I've been stocking up Jodi Picoult's and now I have 8 of hers.
- London is my least favorite place of all the places that I've been to.
- I hated bean sprouts with all my heart but is taking baby steps to eat them by eating spring rolls. =)
- I have a crush on Brad Pitt since forever.
- I don't get football nor the pleasure of watching it.
- I have short fingers, shorter than Ella's.
- Cik Ainur Fadhillah Ahmad Fuad
- Cik Syuhada Adnan
- Cik Sarimah Samad
- Cik Nurul Fadhillah Yaacob (whom I heard is back in town)
- Cik Nurul Sheila Khaleb
- Cik Azlina Ideris aka ayu
- Cik Amelia Wardah Kasim
- En Ayaz Ismail