Friday, November 30, 2007


It was not the weatherman that forecasted there will be a huge flood in Terengganu. Nor was it the Monsoon Cup that started two days ago. Not the flashflood my client in Gua Musang been complaining about that almost destroy his plantation. Not even the raging sea with its waves slamming the shore in Pantai Rhu Sepuluh when I drove back from Kota Bharu. No, none of that. It was not until several days ago, when I was driving back from work, and it was raining quite heavily that I finally realized, it's that time of the year again, the monsoon...

I have always love winter. One of the best season I have lived in, I always say. My definition of winter is not the same as the calendar's. Mine is when the first flake of snow touches the Bloomington's land, then the winter season has started. So, it's really the snow that I love. It's hard to explain the feeling. But it felt like nothing can ever be wrong when it's snowing and nothing had been so far. I love the feeling, and when I saw the snow flakes gracefully dancing outside my window, I know it's that time of the year again. Nothing will ever be wrong.

I was surprised when the feeling of "it's that time of the year again" came to me several days ago. That means, I'm slowly letting go of my winter and accepting the monsoon. I'll miss winter though but I'll love the monsoon just as much.. I just know it..

It's raining almost everyday in Terengganu now and I love it..

Monday, November 26, 2007

Got tagged!

My sister tagged me.. I'm still very new in this concept of tagging and this would be the first time I got tagged.. so here goes!

(a) Infinite open ticket to anywhere in the world for two(and of course with no expiry)
(b) Honda Civic Hybrid
(c) A bungalow with a swimming pool and gym and big yard (hahaha.. that's asking a lot eh?)
(d) Music and dancing lessons
(e) All this year feature gadgets.. especially the latest MacBook Pro..

(a) Simple. I love travelling.
(b) Hehe I fall in love with the honda civic, and since they just release the hybrid model, why not?
(c) I'm always too lazy to go out, so it's easy if I got everything at home..
(d) Haha, I always want to take all these lessons but they cost too much..
(e) informaaatics.. need I say more?

My ever so drama queen sister (she is so going to kill me for that, hahaha)

(a) drama queen.. haha kidding, sensitive of others' and own feelings maybe sounds more accurate
(b) Pretty good with money
(c) Independent
(d) Loyal to friends
(e) Can keep a secret

hehehe I got a handbag last time she went home... i love it, it's really cute.. that is rather memorable..

MOST LOVED INVENTION (does not need to be technologically advanced)
wow.. this is really difficult... hmmm... I would have to say MacBook Pro.. and TV!!! where else would I watch Grey's Anatomy then?

being lied to

PEOPLE YOU WANNA TAG : Syu, Ainur, Lina ING, Sari, Fadhil


All righty.. I finally finish it.. can you believe that I took 3 days to do this.. I got stuck at the first question.. I think I want too much but when I got to (d), I'm absolutely clueless.. anyway, yay!!

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Just another starless night
a clowned face
a muffled cry
and the dawn is painted red
the aching pain that keeps you up at night.......

Pertama kali aku tergugah

Dalam setiap kata yang kau ucap
Bila malam tlah datang
Terkadang ingin ku tulis semua perasaan

Kata orang rindu itu indah
Namun bagiku ini menyiksa
Sejenak ku fikirkan untuk ku benci saja dirimu
Namun sulit ku membenci

Pejamkan mata bila kuingin bernafas lega
Dalam anganku aku berada disatu persimpangan jalan yang sulit kupilih

Ku peluk semua indah hidupku
Hikmah yang ku rasa sangat tulus
Ada dan tiada cinta bagiku tak mengapa
namun ada yang hilang separuh


-Bimbang, Melly Goeslow


I started writing this entry with a sad story. It's been on my mind for one whole day.. nay scratch that, actually it's been a week that I started the countdown.. Today shouldn't be different than any other day. It has been 6 years and I have moved on, I am moving on. I love my life now, with its warts and all. But why oh why do I find myself picturing his smiles and hearing his laughs while I was walking through 'Pasar Malam'? Why, me, a person who thought life is better this way, found myself crying through my 'Pasar Malam' browsing which I'm sure left some of the pakcik looking scared.

As soon as I got home, I tried writing the whole thing, about his personality mostly, because that's what I promised myself to write when I first started this blog. It wasn't purposely created for him but was inspired by him. But why can't I finish my story? I started writing it only to find that I can't possibly finish it, which leaves me with this entry. Today is no different than any other day. Today shouldn't be different. It's been 6 years and I still miss him terribly.

One day, I'll write about him. One day, I'll write about Abah..

Saturday, November 17, 2007

the chair

sitting numbly, as the clowns twirl, waving, inviting..

hands tied, feet glued, and come a silent cry "it's the chair!

"i can set you free" a voice echoed and there emerge from the shadows, handsome prince with glistening smile, riding on white horse offering his hand.

Long she stares at the sparkling smile, grandiose suit and magnificent carriage, her eyes full of hope if only in a glimpse.

The clowns stop twirling and weird faces popping in, the audiences.

Take his hand! You will be free! silent shouts of approval stirring chaos in her heart and as she withdraws her hand, her heart filters a contrary plead.

"No, stop! it's another chair!

With hands held in mid-air, she turns around and her eyes found a man in ragged white clothes, breathless.

Audiences' eyes on the man in ragged clothes.
"Quest him what he may promise you"

Audiences' head turns in tunes sharply to the prince.
"Take a peek inside my carriage and you may find the seats are layered with the finest cotton world have seen, lined with the rarest leather and the seat so soft you will feel like you are sitting on the fluffiest clouds. Now, what can you offer?

Audiences's eyes sparkle in quest and the man in ragged clothes smiled sadly.

"Yet it is another chair, be it that splendorous. I can offer you the wings so you may fly, I can give you tails so you can swim, or train your feet to run in the greenest, longest field on earth. I am offering you the world"

Audiences' taken aback.

"You are promising the world. How would you free me when you are mere commoner"

And the prince laugh. Again the man smiles.

"For me to promise you the world is for me to promise you that I won't be able to free you from the chair. Neither I nor the prince may rescue you" he softly said.

Audiences gasping and the prince roars in fury yet the man smiling still in serene.

"I see no rope tying your hand. I see no glue holding your feet. Should all the forces on earth combined to free you, failure shall it be. It was never the chair, nor it capable of doing so. It's you. Never content with the ordinary, you sought the extraordinary, the prince. In waiting, you prison yourself in your thinking that ordinary is not good enough"

The audiences again gasping as the man snaps his finger and changes into a dazzlingly beautiful lady.

"Look is nothing more than pure deception and it blinds you to what is important in life."
Once again she snaps her fingers and vanish into thin air.

The audiences left.