Change of Season

I’m quite an optimist. I see the silver lining rather easily. To be an optimist is not difficult. You just have to have faith that something always happens for a reason. I learned to not judge by its cover. I learned that it is best to give people the benefit of the doubt.  

To remain as an optimist though is becoming harder for me. I see people around me getting better jobs, bigger paychecks, found soul mates, having babies and I can’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy building inside of me. As much as I want to be grateful for the life that I have, I wonder if this is it to life?  

Fortunately, I share this feeling with quite a number of people, who feel that there is more to life. How curious that the people that I envy feels that they don’t have enough where as I would kill to have the life that they have. I guess the grass really seems greener on the other side. 

Question: Are there really more to life, or are we just being ungrateful? Do each of us really meant to do something big, someday? What if we never found it? Do we need to find it or will it eventually come to us?  

I was looking for my passport the other day and I stumbled upon my old diary, as old as 10 years ago. I read through it and how interesting to find that I have not changed that much. Interesting too at the turn of events, the unexpected friendships, the never-I-thought-would-happen tragedy. Interesting too that 10 years ago I have already wonder what will happen to me in 10 years. Then it hits me. 

I will never know the answers. It’s a mystery and I am sure it will surprise me again as it did 10 years ago.    

But if I learn anything from my life 10 years ago, it is that it doesn’t matter what will happen later in my life. What matter is what happens now and I don’t want to fill my day with wondering, I’m pretty sure I wondered enough for the rest of my life. I am going to live my life to the fullest, today. God knows what will happen tomorrow, but I will deal with tomorrow, TOMORROW.  

As for the green grass, they are never as green as they look like. Besides, I am happy with my blue, purple or whatever color grass that I have.  

Didn’t anyone tell you that freaks are the new normal?  

p/s I am into sewing now, not that I know how. I bought a textbook and started reading it last night. On the first chapter the author said something along this line: "Jika anda berpakaian simple ke pejabat, orang akan keliru dan berfikir apa yang kurang mengenai anda. Anda akan kelihatan pelik dan tidak cantik". And I thought less is more. hmm..

Lagi-lagi Tag

Syu re-tagged me.. I'm not usually a tag-killer, but for this tag, I hope this will be the end of it.. =)

1. The person who last tag you is:
Cik Syuhada Adnan

2. Your relationship with him/her is:
Friend, sister, lover.. hahaha

3. Your five impression of him/her:
a.Someone who speaks her mind
b.Brilliant, literally.
c.Artistic
d.Very kind
e.Stubborn-stubborn ayam

4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you:
A lot actually, one that I always remember and treasure and tell the story to many is how she helped get my sister to the bus station. I can't describe how worried I was leaving my sister alone and sad that I couldn't send her myself, but the fact she's willing to come to KL during rush hour (she doesn't have a car at the time) and then send her to Putra Station (by cab) until my sister get on her bus really touched me.

5. The most memorable thing he/she had said to you:
Pun banyak and there's a few I keep in my phone (SMS). Here's my fav:
"Hi. Bleh tk dm hujan lebat rasa sangap dan trus pg tesco mkn kfc? Haha. Aku kt kfc skarang. Tgh mkn sorg2! Wish u were here.."

6. If he/she become your lover, you will:
She is =P

7. If he/she become your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be:
She's perfect the way she is

8. If he/she become your enemy, you will:
I don't know. I just hope that if we ever fight, we'll come back to this entry and see how much we mean to each other.

9. If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be:
Can't think of anything right now.

10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is:
I really want her to be happy. I know she's happy now but she'll be happier if she's studying. So, I wish I can get her the scholarship to study anything and anywhere in the world.

11. Your overall impression of him/her is:
A great friend

Ahlan Wa Sahlan Ya Ramadhan

It’s that time of the year again! Ramadhan this year came a little early than the previous year but I am just as excited. Celebrating Ramadhan always feel like celebrating a new year to me. Even before Ramadhan, I have set up a few goals that I wish to achieve by the end of this blessed month.

For one, not eating and drinking do give me a better perspective on life. For some reason, it helps clear my mind and make me more focus. I guess it has something to do with science too. Isn’t it the same practice too if you want to get rid the toxic in you? Or fat. Hehe.

Secondly, I get to save. Not taking lunch break helps my wallet. Normally I have to spend for lunch and the goodies from the bookstore in front of our office “Pustaka Seri Intan” and easily be RM10 per day. Since I decided to stay in the office during on lunch break during Ramadhan, I can easily save RM200.

The third reason might be influenced by the idea of this month itself. Since we were kids, we were told that the devils are being tied during this month. All the bad deeds come from our own self and not influenced by any external factor. For that reason, my heart trying to prove that I am actually a good person and I feel a strong need to be good and to do good.

During Ramadhan, I always challenge myself to do difficult chores and that is the fourth reason. I like that I get to challenge myself. To see, what I am capable of. In any normal days, I would easily grab a drink. Since I know that I cannot eat or drink no matter how hard it is, I challenge myself to always take another step. It not only resulted in physical fitness but it will also improve your will power. It is more of a mind game. Corny but, You Can if You THINK You Can.

On my life PH scale, the journey during Ramadhan is a 7. It is up to me by the end of it to turn left or right.

p/s Ramli Awang Murshid has launched the last of the "Bagaikan Puteri" trilogy, "Hijab Sang Pencinta". I have to say I'm a little disappointed with the third book. I like the ending, it's realistic. What I don't like is the unnecessary characters and subplots that makes the main plot messy with many loose endings. I read that Ziela Jalil was interested to make a mini TV series of the books and I seriously hoped that RAM won't allow her. The books are too good to be make mini-series. With the right director and actors, it can be the Malay Lord of The Ring. They have to get the right Sunan though, very much like Aragorn but with a lot more patience.Let's just hope Ziela won't mess it up!

A reason to Blog

Hahaha, I haven't updated my blog for a while now.. Been busy actually.. I'm doing a little project called Kueh Raya.. hahahaha.. I never really into tagging, it can get very personal sometimes.. since most of the readers are either friends or family, not much a secret there..

I also want to take this opportunity to wish you a very blessed Ramadhan.. May Ramadhan this year will be better than the last Ramadhan.. InsyaAllah.. Ramadhan Mubarak!

1. The person who last tag you is:
Adek - Tengku Norhanisah Binti Tengku Kamaruddin

2. Your relationship with him/her is:
My dear Sister

3. Your five impression of him/her:
a.A good listener
b.Creative
c.Sensitive
d.Stubborn
e."Agak" mendengar kata.. hahaha

4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you:
She's my lil sis.. So just by being that is memorable enough except on her stubborn-as-hell day..

5. The most memorable thing he/she had said to you:
hahaha.. ok this happens a while back but she actually said this when I asked her what did she want from the States when my friend is coming back for the summer "Kakna balikla. Tak payahlah bagi apa-apa lagi" Somehow, that get stuck in my head and I came back that summer..

6. If he/she become your lover, you will:
Hmm...

7. If he/she become your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be:
Hmm..

8. If he/she become your enemy, you will:
I don't think she can, she's family you see.. bicker, fights, yes. Enemy? never gonna happen, I'll make sure of that..

9. If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be:
Maybe, in a very slim chance that we can become enemy, because of the stubbornness trait that we both inherit.. hahaha

10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is:
FOR her? well, like everything you want to do for the ones that are close to your heart.. keep them close and safe..

11. Your overall impression of him/her is:
I still see her as my lil sis, the three year old ones..

12. How you think people around you will feel about you?:
I think people think that I am a little different (read:weird).. hahaha.. not that it bothers me =P

13. The characters you love of yourself are:
It's a love-hate relationship but I do like that I am stubborn, it keeps my eyes on the goal and make me want to fight harder.

14. On the contrary, the characters you hate yourself are:
Hahaha like I said, love-hate relationship, still is stubborn. It can be too much at times that it became out of control and force me to say or to do something that I don't even mean.

15. The most ideal person you want to be is:
No one specific.. but I always have this person in my mind that I wish to be.. it still is me, just the upgraded version.. =)

16. For people that care and like you, say something to them:
Hahahaha.. I think these people heard these enough from me, but yeah, I do love you guys..

17. Pass this quiz to 5 persons that you wished to know how they feel about you:
1. Sheila
2. Syu
3. Ainur
4. Sari
5. Liena Ideris

18. Who is no.1 having relationship with?
Alamak, is it Shahrul? or Shahril? or fakhrul? I totally forgot..

19. Is no.4 a male or female?
Female

20. If no.3 and 5 are together, will it be a good thing?
hahahhha.. you guys are together, aren't ya? =P

22. What is no.2 studying about?
She's currently working at Kementerian Luar Negara and she graduated from UW, Madison in International Relations.

23. When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?
I think last week..

24. What kind of music band does no.4 like?
Anything that is US top 40.. kan sari kan?

25. Does no.1 have any siblings?
Yep.. 4 right?

26. Will you woo no.2?
already wooed.. =P

27. How about no.4?
we shared the same bed before.. hahahhaha both no.2 & no.4 used to be my roommates, silly..

28. Is no.1 single?
No, she's having a relationship with what-his-name

29. What is the surname of no.3?
No surname, but her dad's name is Ahmad Fuad..

30. What's the hobby of no.5?
I think, travelling..

31. Does no.1 and 5 get along well?
Oh yes, they used to work at the same place..

32. Where is no.2 studying at?
She went to UW-Madison for her undergrad, yet to tell me where she's gonna do her Master's.

33. Talk something casually about no.1:
The most confident person on earth would be everyone's first impression.. get to know her better and you'll see a fragile little girl.. (don't hate me for this Sheils)

34. Have you tried developing feelings for no.3?
Don't have to, it has been developed.. =D

35. Where does no.5 live at?
She's currently doing her Psych Master in Manchester

36. What colour does no.2 like?
Earthy colors and gold and silver..

37. Are no.3 and 1 best friend?
They have been friends for 8 years and they still like each other.. that would qualify for a best friend right? haha the truth is all of us are best of friends..

38. Does no.3 have any pets?
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.. what are the odds this question dapat kat ainur.. yes, yes and yes.. she has or might I say had many many pets but she killed all of them.. kura-kura masak merah anyone?

39. Is no.1 the sexiest person in the world?
hell, yeah! (not that the rest of you guys aren't)

40. What is no. 5 doing now?
Liena, you are so far away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but you are thinking of me, aren't ya? ;)