Jendela Hati

Sesungguhnya mata itu jendela hati. Oh how deep. Well, these are not my words. They are Noor Suraya’s. Noor Suraya is one of (the few) my favorite Malay authors. Her books are published with quite a few publishers including Creative enterprise and Jemari Seni. Her writing is a little different compared to the other authors. If you have read 3 of her books, you would notice her style/plot. My favorite is of course, “Nyanyian Tanjung Sepi”, and it’s not because of some of you might thought an obvious reason. It’s not!

Her storyline could be a bit monotonous and you might not like her endings. What I love about her books mostly are the characters. Most of the characters are simple, humble and free of unnecessary drama. Another reason is the message/moral of her stories. It will grab you out of your fairy tale life and open your eyes to see what is more significant in life. Anyways, I’m not actually writing this to discuss her work. The first sentence is more what I interested in talking about.

“Sesungguhnya mata itu jendela hati”. The first time I read the sentence I was stunned by how accurate it is. Don’t you think it’s true? What is a Jendela, literally? A jendela is a small part of a building. It usually is small in size, yet it plays such an imperative role. It allows the person from inside to view the world outside, and it allows the passerby to steal a look inside.

It’s the same with our eyes. It is only a small part of our body, yet is capable of doing so much. Aside from its glamorous role as capturing the world’s beauty, it is also capable of portraying what is inside a person body to the outside world. Words can only describe so much but our eyes say a lot more. Its language is universal, crossing the borders of country, religion, and race. It is the most honest part of the body. It holds no lie, no secret.

Feelings are exposed bare nakedly in our eyes. The eyes sparkle in a lover’s gaze. And the sparkle can easily vanish in a sorrow. It flickers in quest and flaming in rage. Determination can easily be spotted in a sharp eye. Well, I’m no expert. But if you asked this to an artist, they can easily tell you the eyes’ language. A drawing can only look alive if the eyes of the object painted tell a story. Isn’t that why the portrait of Monalisa is famous of?

This is only one of many other functions of the eyes. Isn’t it amazing how something so small is capable of so much? All the praises for you, o Allah Almighty.

“On the Day, when their tongues, their hands and their feet will bear witness against them as to their actions”

Al-Qur’an,24:24 (translation by Abdullah Yusof Ali)

It's been a while since I last update my blog. Is it because I don't have time? Well, I won't say so, I am in Terengganu after all. Away from my KL's happening life (which also translates to pergi pasar malam hari khamis and layan grey's anatomy with my lovely roommates, =D). Yup, time is what I have (said Mr Mohan from the Astro commercial). It's just that lately I have been having what a writer would say a "writer's block". I would sit in front of my PC for hours and try to write something. All I have are the first 5 words which are "I remember when I was" and poof, it turned out nothing that happened on that day or the past week that are worth remembering. I'm not complaining though. I like my life this way. Peaceful and quite and drama free. full stop.

What triggers me to write today? Well, I was surfing and reading random people's blogs and looking at random people's fotopages and I bummed to one fotopage that has a picture of an airplane. I remember (here we go again) about 2 months ago I had a meeting in KL. My company booked me a morning ticket and luckily,I got a window seat. I have always love looking out the window. And on that day, words can't describe how beautiful it is. The clouds are amazingly white and fluffy. And the rain forest, the view from the above, MashaAllah was so exquisite, saujana mata memandang.

It reminded me of my apartment back in Bloomington. I arranged my bed so that it would be aligned with my big window. I have never closed the curtain (except when the girls esp the one from UIUC came visit and they would complain about the morning sun, =D). My apt was on the ninth floor so I never have to worry about peeping tom or anything. Everyday, I would just lie down and watch the clouds. This might sound a bit bias and mengada-ngada but I have always thought that the Bloomington's clouds are the most beautiful clouds in the world. And on that day, on the plane, the cloud was just as beautiful and the scenery was just so breathtaking that I could not resist myself from taking pictures.

There I was taking pictures oh so passionately, I totally forgot that I was on the plane with about another 100 people. The stewardess' were distributing the kacang and the drinks at the time and one of them approached me, asking what kind of drink that I want. Unfortunately I was too deep in emotion and busy taking pictures that I didn't hear her calling me. It turned out that she had raised her voice and the person who's sitting next to me had to cuit me since I wasn't responding to the stewardess. When I finally turned around, I found out that almost everyone's around me were looking at me with a little smile. I know they must have thought this was my first time on the plane and truth be told, yes it's a little embarrassing. But I will always remember the day I found my clouds. Ok well, the last sentence sounds a little too dramatic. But what the heck, I could always use some drama in my life. =D *smile*

Guys and Cars

I was in my Hotel room in Kota Bharu, reading, a few weeks ago. I turned on the TV just to add some noise to the night. I was concentrating on my book when my ears caught the sentence, "the most expensive car ever made, Cadillac V16" from the TV. My mind suddenly alerted me to watch it so that I have something to talk about at the office since most of my colleagues are males.



I turned my attention to the TV to see what is the car like, and it did not look that impressive to me. My eyes were glued on the TV screen for quite a while, still trying to figure out what makes the car so expensive but it failed to impress me. It got me thinking, what is it about cars that make men crazy about it. To satisfy my curiosity, I text messaged a few male friends that I know well.



Within a few minutes, a few replied and some even called. I was expecting a similar answer from these men. But I was surprised when I was given many different answers. The most interesting part is their answers can really show their personality. These are the answer that I have received.



1. Dunno, I don't

2. Because it gets me to work, see my friends, buy food for my parents and other 1001 conveniences.

3. Because when a guy has no woman, all his loving, caressing, attention, devotion has to go somewhere, I guess. But for a guy with a woman, the car is probably more responsive to his needs

4. Maybe because it's masculine; fast cars symbolize power, expensive ones show wealth, modified ones give a sense of self, etc. Maybe guys think chick dig nice cars. Do they?

5. Style

6. Symbol of pride. Men love shape and power.

7. Actually guys don't really like cars. Girls like cars. Men are just hunters. We use flashy cars as bait.

8. I don't know. Maybe for the same reason why girls like shopping. Whenever I upgraded or modified my car, I feel satisfied.



Well, I was hoping to make a generalization of men based on their answer, but like I said, they are all rather different. What I can conclude is that, a car to a man is like a handbag to a woman. Some use them for necessity and some use them as accessory. It's not fair to generalize that all women love handbag and all men love cars.



Women and men are not much different after all. Men might come from Mars and women might originated from Venus, but like Kanji, we might sound different but we mean the same thing. Solution: Learn your kanji character and find out if car really does translate to handbag!

Fruitful plate (Part 2)...

Do you know why we have to wash and rinse rice before cooking it? When I was a kid, I thought the reason was because the rice is dirty. When I started learning to cook rice, I wash it thoroughly, until the water is crystal clear; just imagine how much water I wasted on my first rice wash. When my mother saw the result, she knew right away what I did. She asked me why and I told her that I wanted the rice to be completely clean. Then, she give me the do's and the don'ts. Do: Wash the rice just to make sure that it is clean from the insects/weevils. Don't: Wash too thoroughly because we might miss the nutrition.

No matter how careful we are, we might miss a few insects. Every so often, we found small stones or insects in our food. These food are not safe for us to eat. Same thing if we are served with the food that we are allergic to. If you know there are stones in it or you know that you are allergic to it before you eat it, stay far away from it. It could be tempting, like serving an ice-cream for a diabetic. But it is dangerous. However, if you have accidentally eat it, get a cure. Let the experts handle it. Fetch a doctor, get medicine. Do whatever you have to do except eating it.

Same thing in life. We play fair. We stay clean, or at least we try our best to live safely. However, life is full of surprises and sometimes it surprises us with these dangerous challenges. It could be anything, from the smallest of things to the highest of things. It could come from your neighborhood; a neighbor could be asking you to lie for them, it could come from a workplace; a client giving you a hamper just before you approve their loan. These people could be your dearest friend or a family member. As a human, no doubt that we will feel incline to abide to their request, but DON'T.

This is the poison of your life. You are not helping anyone by doing that. You have to learn to say NO. If it has to do with legal procedures, let the other responsible party deal with it. And, if you are involved in it unknowingly, get out right away. Then, ask for an expert's advice. If a damage control needs to be done, do it. You are after all responsible for your own action.

My mother put dried chillies in the place where we store the rice. Her reason is that it will keep the insects away. I'm not sure if it really works. But at least she tried, to keep us healthy. Same thing in life, prevention is always better than cure. But like the rice, don't wash it too thoroughly, you might take away the life's many nutritions.

Fruitful plate (part one)..







Often, we heard people say "I cannot deal with this right now, I already have too many things on my plate". Well, that is actually quite a good analogy, things on the plate represent the challenges in life. What people often omit to do is to use the same analogy to deal with it.







Let's take a a typical Malay/Asian meal for an example. What we normally see on their plate are rice, vegetables and meat. Each of these food contributes in making us stronger and healthier. Rice gives us carbohydrate, vegetables is of course rich with nutrition and meat provide us with protein. In life, these foods are the challenges that we deal with everyday. Each and every challenges contributes in helping us to be a physically strong and emotionally healthy person (if we deal with it correctly). Just as a food is a need, challenges are also the same.





Most of the times, we enjoy eating because the food taste good. However, sometimes, without us wanting, we are given the food that we don't like. Some people choose to walk away from the plate, take a nap and hope that somebody else will pick up the food while they are sleeping. Sometimes, we are lucky enough, when we wake up, the food is gone. But most of the times, when we wake up, the food is already so rotten and smelly. To avoid our neighbor's complaints, we are now forced to shove the food down our throat. The result? food poisoning if not death.







Same things in life, everyday we are dealing with positive and negative challenges. Marriage and a newborn would be the positive challenges because we love it even though it is a hassle. However, sometimes we are forced to deal with negative challenges, like a divorced or a death of the loved ones. When it happens, we cannot leave and expect people to solve it for us or hoping that the problems will solve by itself. Every once in a while, it can happen, but most of the times, it DIDN'T!







Walking away is definitely not the answer and time will only make it worse. Some personal problems can be a talk of a neighborhood just because it was left long enough for people to pick up on the stories. At this time, there's nothing that you can do other than solving it or suffer a chronic depression which eventually will put you in an asylum or early grave. It's harsh, but then again, so is life.







*iklan* Just downloaded the new mozilla firefox (version 2.0). Excellent web browser, with cool add-ons: fireFTP acts as a web FTP-fast, sturdy and user friendly; Greasemonkey allows you to change the scripts of the websites you are viewing;Cooliris previews let you preview the page when you hover your cursor over a link;Firebug (gotta be the coolest!!) lets u explore all (n i mean ALL) the inner workings of a webpage-css,javascript,images,etc-a web-developers playground!!! I could go on for pages but why don't you go check it out.. and for goodness sake, download it!







Download Mozilla Firefox 2.0: http://www.mozilla.com/en-US/firefox/







Download Add-Ons: https://addons.mozilla.org/firefox/recommended/

Ikan
Today, I learned a new lesson, cutting a fish, ikan kerisi to be exact. I do know the standard fish cut, but for ikan kerisi (to be fried), it has to be a full cut from the backside of the fish. It was my first time. When I first hold the fish, I know right away that it's a little fragile. So, I decided to cut it softly without putting any kind of pressure on it. The result: the fish was destroyed due to excessive softness. Then, I put a little force on it, and it went quite successfully though not really beautiful. For my third fish, I was too excited which causing me to put an extra pressure resulting another destroyed fish. For my fourth fish, it was quite successful where I learned to put the pressure at the right places. Though all the cuttings after that can never match my mother's, I was quite satisfied.

Then, to clean its stomachs. I have never take it out bare handed before. With the normal fish cut, my grandmother had taught me to do it using a knife. I tried to do the same, unfortunately it ripped the thin layer of the fish's abs. For my second trial, I tried using my hand (while comforting myself that it's just fish) to jerk away the gill but it became quite messy because I didnot get the whole of the gill. On my next trial, I decided to be a little braver this time, I dig deeper, allowing my hand to get a little dirty. The result: a really smooth and clean look of a fish abs. I was satisfied though my hand smells, and I was glad that not only now I know how to cut a fish, I also learnt quite a few lessons:

1. You can never be too soft, it will destroy. You can never be too hard, it will destroy also. You have to know to put the right pressure at the right time.

2. Different people requires different kind of approach. If you force a wrong approach to a wrong crowd, somebody might get hurt.

3. Sometimes, you had to get it dirty first to get it clean (please don't misunderstand this). For instance, you have to be in the field and get your hand a little dirty to achieve your goal. You also need to be a risk taker. Be creative, dig deeper to find your answer.

4. Of course, I learnt that practises make perfect. You can never be too old or too young to learn something.

It was quite an adventure with the fishes today. I spent my whole afternoon with them and i was satisfied with my findings. There is always something to learn in every act that we do... God bless..

tonight

Just my fingers dancing
with the echo of the old keyboard
breaking the silence on this night

scared
of what tomorrow will bring

numb
with yesterday's stories

empty
just tonight..

Cameron Trip
Just a few pics from my trip to Cameron..

The breathtaking view of the Boh Tea Plantation.. MashaAllah..


Sarimah, Ana and Erhan.. menikmati teh Bharat berlatarbelakangkan ladang teh


One of the beautiful flowers that you can find in Cameron..


nice trip indeed..

I.E version 7.0

Any of you downloaded Internet Explorer version 7.0? It's been released for quite a while but I have just downloaded it yesterday. Microsoft really goes all out this time to make sure that we did not buy a pirated microsoft products. They requested to validate the copy of Microsoft windows twice; First, before downloading it, second, before installing it. Having to go through this process, I was expecting something excellent, and at my first glance, I was satisfied.

They have adopted the tab browsing capability (just like Opera and Firefox). On top of that, they also have a preview panel that allows the user to overview (in small windows) all the tabs. The screen looks bigger since the "file, edit, view, etc.." toolbar is viewable on request (have to press alt key). The buttons on the screen (web browser) are carefully pick and arrange. The GUI is better. I really like the "open new tab" button, very user friendly. The internet explorer's icon is also modified to look more polished.

I've used it a few times, enough to get back to my good old Mozilla Firefox. Though everything looks nice, I don't think IE can handle too much tabs. With Firefox, I can open God knows how many tabs, the processing speed remains the same. With IE, to load each tabs take quite sometimes, especially when you have opened quite a few tabs. I also have a few experiences of IE crashes everytime I open (too) many tabs.

Congratulations Microsoft for the efforts. I give a A- for the look but for the performance, you can do better. Hopefully Microsoft will give a FREE upgrade of this version soon.

P/S My brother told me that even if you are not using a genuine Microsoft Windows, you can still ILLEGALLY install this version of ie. Not really sure how to do it but Microsoft should be prepared for this. Nowadays, what thing cannot be hacked?

Malays

I googled:
1. "Malays are lazy" = Results 1 - 10 of about 356 for "Malays are lazy". (0.14 seconds)
2. "Malays are hardworking" = Results 1 - 5 of about 15 for "Malays are hardworking". (0.24 seconds)

Well, the sentence could have been "I don't think Malays are lazy". Therefore the stats might not be accurate but the gap is too big. 356 pages against 15 pages, over 300 pages variance. So we can conclude that the majority agrees that Malays are truly lazy. Fortunately (or unfortunately-depends on how you see it ), majority doesn't translate to truth. Are malays really lazy? Let's see.

The sentence "Malays are lazy" is not new, it might be as old as "the chinese are greedy" and "the indians cannot be trusted". If I'm not mistaken, these 3 conceptions had been introduced by the british since they set foot in Tanah Melayu. Since then, the malays have been labeled as a lazy race. I wonder on what basis did the British give that label because back then the Malays have quite an achievement. To name a few, Melaka was once an international trading port and Panglima Awang (a.k.a enrique of malacca/henry the black) was claimed to be the first person who traveled around the world.

Race is formed from a group of people that share similar physical traits. However, I believe that each of us have a unique character that cannot be categorized by race, religion or country. We might be influenced by these aspects but not naturally born with it. To say Malays are lazy is unfair because I know quite a good number of Malays who are extremely hard working and know quite a few chinese who are quite laid back.

To me, the statement " malays are lazy" is a British's dogma which trapped us to believe and live in that perception. It saddened me that the sentence "the malays are lazy" mostly come from the Malays themselves. After all, you are what you believe right? I hope this repetitous statement acts as a reminder, not an excuse. Being a Malay myself, I repeatedly remind myself to prove them wrong.
*********************************************
Just for the fun of it I also googled:
1. "Chinese are greedy" = Results 1 - 10 of about 141 for "chinese are greedy". (0.06 seconds)
2. "Indians are dishonest" = Results 1 - 10 of about 30 for "indians are dishonest". (0.48 seconds)

Backpacking!!!!!

Calling out to all backpackers out there!!!!!! If you have stories, or photos to share.. or you have taken a freakamazing backpacking route anywhere in the world and you want to share with the rest of the world, please contact me at nurul.mardiana@gmail.com!!!!!!!

When I was a kid, I read a story about a pious man who ate an apple that he found floating on a river until he realized that he didn’t asked for permission to have that apple and had traced back to the owner of the apple (trees) and asked for permission. The owner, impressed with the man’s piety, gave him challenges. He agreed to “halalkan” the apple if the man agrees to work for him for several years and marry his daughter who is blind, deaf, mute and disabled. The man, though felt that the conditions are quite heavy, agreed to it. Turned out, the daughter is in perfect condition and in fact is very pretty. He asked his wife why her father said she is totally disabled, she replied “My father said i was deaf because these ears have never heard haram, he said I was mute, because I have never spoken haram, he said i am handless and without feet because i have never touched or walked to anything haram.”
These people are later known as the parents of Imam Abu Hanifa.

So, my question is.. who would you be? Do you prefer being the naive girl or do you prefer to be the know-it-all girl?

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to Ella
Happy Birthday to you..

Allah selamatkan kamu
Allah selamatkan kamu
Allah selamatkan Suhailah Abu Bakar
Allah selamatkan kamu

Wishing Ella a very Happy Birthday for her **th birthday on 12th January... May your life will forever be blessed and of course, many happy returns!!

MashaAllah, what a blissful day, today it is..

P/s I've a few entries to upload but none of them siap at the moment. Can't wait to have a peaceful moment to write... *sigh* ..

Coretan 2007

Coretan pertama 2007... Alhamdulillah, 2006 sudah berakhir dan aku mengalu-alukan kedatangan 2007. Hari Raya AidilAdha juga jatuh sehari sebelum tahun 2007, menambahkan lagi kemeriahan hari semalam. Namun dalam kemeriahan semalam, banyak berita yang di paparkan di kaca TV yang membenarkan aku memuhasabah diri.

Berita penggantungan Saddam Hussein ku terima dengan senyap. Tiada protes ataupun sokongan, kerana aku sebenarnya jahil dalam isu ini. Namun, hatiku terdetik sendiri. Apakah rahsianya ataupun apakah propaganda pihak Amerika dalam memilih tarikhnya, di hari Umat Islam seluruh dunia menyambut Hari Raya Korban. Adakah itu satu mesej tak langung dari mereka?

Juga peperangan yang tidak sudah di Asia Tengah. Biar segunung simpatiku masih tidak dapat aku selami perasaan-perasaan mereka di sana. Aku kagumi semangat mereka. Biar saban hari nyawa di hujung tanduk, menyerah bukanlah satu pilihan buat mereka. Jika diizinkan Allah, mahu aku panjangkan langkahku ke sana. Inginku selami rahsia-rahsia ketabahan mereka. Malu untuk ku akui, namun aku bersyukur yang aku di sini ketika ini.

Di dalam negara sendiri tak kurang ramainya kurang bernasib baik. Mangsa-mangsa banjir di serata negara terutamanya di negeri Johor terpaksa menyambut Hari Raya Aidil Adha dan Tahun Baru dalam keadaan serba kekurangan. Alhamdulillah, banyak bantuan yang telah dan akan dihulurkan kepada mereka. Semoga apa yang hilang dapat digantikan dengan yang lebih baik. InsyaAllah.

Namun begitu, aku sebenarnya sangat menunggukan kehadiran tahun ini. Aku nantikan perubahan-perubahan yang bakal berlaku. Aku mahu lebih mengaktifkan diri pada tahun ini. Terima kasih kepada Sarimah, kalendar acara dari tourism Malaysia pada tahun ini sudah kumiliki. Banyak program-program menarik yang akan di adakan di serata Malaysia, sejajar dengan kempen Tahun Melawat Malaysia 2007 dan juga sambutan kemerdekaan yang ke-50. InsyaAllah, akan ku muat naikkan di laman ini dari semasa ke semasa. Ada beberapa lagi perubahan lain yang aku nantikan. Buat masa ini, biarku simpan untuk diriku dulu.

Aku berharap, tahun baru ini akan lebih mematangkan aku. Seperti tahun-tahun yang sudah, azam tahun ini tetap sama, aku ingin menjadi umat yang lebih baik. Selamat tahun baru!

Do you have one day when you wake up, you just feel sad. For no apparent reason, your life just flashes in front of you. All the trivial things that you think have never bothered you suddenly do?

Where you suddenly think your life has no purpose? Where you are frustrated with the people around you? Where you think you are not being appreciated enough? Where you think your existent doesn’t make a difference in the world? Where you think you don’t do enough? Don’t get enough? Not pretty enough? Smart enough? Rich enough? Love enough? Well, for me, today is the day.

Could be hormones or dreams that I had last night that I don’t remember, God knows what had caused it. What I know is I control my own emotions. I will decide how I will live my day, and today is a beautiful day. C’est la vie!

Yani & Bird, New Orleans -Spring 2005

I'd like to dedicate this entry to my bestfriend and confidante, Yanie who is celebrating her 5th year anniversary with also my highschool friend, bird..

I was there when they first met and their relationship now is just as strong as 5 years ago, if not stronger. I wish them a lifetime of happiness and may Allah bless them.

Cheers!

It's not Love....

It’s not love
When he buys you flowers
For your endless tears

It’s not love
When he cries his love
On your exhausted body

It’s not love
When he apologizes
After a night of beating

It’s not love
When his jealousy
Imprisoned you friendless

Stop convincing yourself
The beating won’t stop
The tears will keep on rolling
The jealousy will intensify

Speak up
Somebody’s listening

Walkout
Somebody’s waiting


"Isteri bukannya hak milik, tapi anugerah".....
-Dato' Rahim Razali, Cinta..

This poem goes out to all the women in the world. Either they have been in an abusive relationship, or they think they are in one. Also a precaution to those who think they are safe..

One thing with love, it's unpredictable. You might say that you would never fall in love with a man like that but once you fall in love, it blinds you. That is why it is a struggle for these women to leave the relationship because of the love that they have to these men bind them to the relationships.

To these women who have walked out, congratulations! God knows how courageous you are.. For the ones who are still struggling, seek help.. Sometimes you need a helping hand to drag you out and a pair of extra eyes to show you the true meaning of love..

glance

To be trapped
In that gaze
In that moment
In that silence
In that heartbeat

In that heartbeat
The world is turning faster than ever
Nights and day conflicting
What real seems unreal
What’s unreal seems possible

In that heartbeat
The world stops
Night and day compromise
Reality intrudes
Dream shatters

Listen
Can you hear my heart is breaking?

Sun Tzu, The Art of War

I've always wanted to read Sun Tzu, The Art of War but never have the chance. The closest that I've read is "Thick Face, Black Heart" by Ching Ning Chu. The book was not a review of "The Art of War" but was influenced by it. Anyways, for those who doesn't know, this book actual focus is on military strategy. It was written during the 6th century BC and it had a huge influence on Eastern military planning, business tactics and even more. It also had influenced many famous leaders and war strategies, such as Napoleon and the planning of operation Desert Storm.

Today, this book has been applied to business and managerial tactics.. To read more about the background of the author and the book, you can google it on the internet. There are hundreds of sites dedicated to this book.

Here's an excerpt of the book...

Chapter Twelve: Fire Attacks

If it is not advantageous, do not move;
if there is no gain, do not use troops;
if there is no danger, do not do battle.
The ruler may not move his army out of anger;
the general may not do battle out of wrath.
If it is advantageous, move;
if it is not advantageous, stop.
Those angry will be happy again, and those wrathful will be cheerful again, but a destroyed nation cannot exist again, the dead cannot be brought back to life.
Therefore, the enlightened ruler is prudent, the good general is cautious.
This is the Way of securing the nation, and preserving the army.

SonshiTM
http://www.sonshi.com/sun12.html

silence

you are there
accompanying my darkest night

you are the angel's lullaby
soothering my wavering heart

You give me strength
in my weakest state

you give me promise
when all I have is despair

in the busiest metropolitan you found me
in the smallest of town you greet me
in the cricket's cricking song you hum with me

in you,I found peace
in you,I found answer
in you,I found hope