Do it my way

I was already doubting myself when I finally decided to submit the form, for these very solid reasons:

1. It was a 21.2 KM run. The longest I have walk/run non-stop in a day for my entire life was when I went to Taman Negara 2 years ago. That was less than 15 KM and it took us one day with many stops.

2. I rarely run, very very rare. I have always,always preferred brisk walk as a mode of exercising. I easily

 become short of breath with any kind of exercise, hence my preference.

3. I only train once, prior to the run, and that if jogging for one round with 5 walking breaks at Batu Burok jogging track can be considered as one.

4. I don't have anyone to go with. My brother was working that Saturday and none of my colleagues want to go, it was a waste of a good saturday morning sleep was what they said. Scout's honor.

Yet I submitted it anyway.

So, on Saturday morning at exactly 7.30 AM, I was on my feet, running, behind everyone else. I have my mp3 player on (when I say MP3 player, I mean my heavy and bulky handphone), minding my own business when everyone outran me. This is the route that we took.

1. Starting line was Taman Awam Batu Burok. Then we passed Primula Hotel, turning right to Batu Bersurat roundabout.

2. We took left from the roundabout and went down to the town center, the area of all financial institutions till the end of Jalan Sultan Ismail.

3. After Jalan Sultan Ismail, we took left to waterfront area and took another left at Balik Bukit, where it was a little hilly. We went down straight to TNB junctions.

4. We turned right at TNB junctions and climbed up the hill and went down straight to the

 State Library junctions, passing the JPJ junctions.

5. We turned right at the junction and went up the bridge (hence the name of the race), and went down at Pulau Duyong exit. That would be the middle checkpoint for the under 18 groups. Sadly for me, I have to continue for another 6 KM.

6. Down the bridge, we proceeded straight to Batu 6 roundabout, passing 2 traffic lights. The middle checkpoint for us would be the one at Batu 6 roundabout when we started turning back.

7. We went up the bridge and..................................

This is the point where I found that I could not walk anymore. My feet hurts, really bad. The sole of my feet to be exact. As far as the stamina goes, I know I have a litle left in me. I can still push myself to take another step. However, it's a totally different thing when every single step that you take, it felt like there is a sharp stone underneath your sole. At first, I pushed myself still, my mind was doing it's job quite successfully motivating my body to go on and absorb the pain. 

After a while though the pain was getting worse so I sat down on one of the big vase near the street on the bridge, massaging my feet. Several people went passed me, smiling awkwardly and I smiled back warmly, telling without words that I am okay and there's no need to stop the ambulance that has been patroling.

When I thought that it was okay, I stood up quickly only to find out that it had just gotten worse. Obviously letting it to rest was a bad idea, the swelling actually got bigger. So, I called my brother. Since I was on the bridge still and it was impossible for my brother to stop in the middle of the heavy traffic, I continued walking, more like limping this time, down the bridge to the jogging track near Bukit Besar and he was already there waiting. He dropped me off to my car at the finishing line and I walked with my brother's slipper on because he insisted I took his slipper when I told him I will be walking barefooted to my car. There is no way I am going to put that shoes back on.

That was three days ago and my leg hurts a little but the blisters are still there. I only told a few people about this run other than my family and if I did not say anything no one would never have to know that I did not finish the race. Yet I feel compelled to write about it. 

I just want to share this experience with everyone out there who is about to take on a new challenge and is still doubting. I was never an athlete. I skipped my PJ class all the time and I am not even living an active lifestyle. I did it anyway. I did it to challenge myself, to see if I have even the slightest potential to be an athlete. I found that I could not finish the race just yet. I am not giving up, I'll be training for next year.

The thing that fascinates about this whole experience is that I do not feel like a failure at all. If anything, I am proud of myself for even signing up. I finished 18 KM and that is something to me. That is the thing with taking risks. You will never know how it would be unless you take it. I thought I knew what running/walking for 21.1 KM feels like but I was wrong and I would not have known if I do not go through it. Life is all about taking risks. Never assume you know what's coming because unless you step in the water, you will never know what is going to hit you. Staying afloat or getting drowned, they are just relatives in lives. Either way, it will be something else and worth getting your feet wet.

I asked and He Answered

"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu, Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui."

-Al-Qur'an, 2:216

It could have been worse and I am really seriously grateful. 

No one says that life is easy. It is hard enough and it become even more frustrating when you try to make sense the bad things that happen to you. Well, I do that all the time. I question, I try to reason and at the end of the day I would blame myself for not doing it differently. It became quite tiring after a while.

The thing is, after a while, when I looked back, I would see the point of why those things happen to me. Of course, while it happened, it would all seems bad and feels like I would never recover. Yet I did, and I always learn something new, and if anything, it would make me a little bit stronger than before. 

So my point is, we are merely human. Things will never make sense to us, at least not while it happened and there are still some things that do not make sense even if you try to reason it for years. I am still having problem accepting death and its consequences to the living. But we have to trust, trust that everything happens for a reason. Trust that whatever happened, it happened for our own good. Of course that is easier said than done but that is what I have to remind myself every single time. To trust. To have faith.

Fortunately, being a Muslim, I was taught to leave my fate (not entirely though, you still are required to do everything within your power) to the hand of the God. Being a mere human, I forgot, many times. Lucky for me, the answers always come whenever I need it. The truth is, the answer is always there if you look hard enough and trust that God really answer your prayers, one way or the other. 

I was feeling a little blue when I saw the translation of Ayat 216 from Surah Al-Baqarah on TV. Then it feels like a huge loads has been taken off me. Thank you.

Life is hard. It became harder when you fight it. Accept and trust that it would be okay. I know it's hard but I rather live in hope that things would be okay than living in regret that is full of what-ifs. The bad things, they are just pit stops in a long race. I don't plan to linger too long at one place because I got to finish the race.

We'll go from here

This is to A, for the many nights at Pantai Teluk Chempedak, defining, wondering, reasoning and endless worrying..

"So I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them." 

-The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Let's take life one thing at a time. Enjoy life's little things. 

Hanging in there!

It has been a rough week, physically and emotionally speaking. I have been running here and there for the past 2 weeks and it is seriously exhausting. Emotionally speaking, I am fine now, really. I really appreciate all the pep talks, encouragement but I don't actually want to talk about it. Other people have suffered for worse tragedies, so mine is not really worth mentioning. It is just another episode and I am ready for the next one.

Drowning

who says seeing is believing?

some instincts just can't be trusted.. haishh

Aku tidak perlukan fantasi itu?

What a wise man says..

I was browsing through my Picasa 3 (which is an awesome free software from Google by the way) and stumbled upon this picture. I remember saving it from the web a few months back because I liked it so much and I wanted to share it with friends but it ended up not moving in my folder. I especially like Freedom and Slavery are Mental States and Each one has to Find His Peace From Within. Oh this one is excellent too, The Weak Can Never Forgive, Forgiveness is the Attribute of the Strong. Wow...

I have a hard time choosing my favorite. Then again, these must be somebody's favorite too since it was compiled to one picture. Oklah, semualah best!

Perfecting The Dance

In order to take a step forward,

I need to take 2 steps back,

waduh.. waduh..

Finally

I am too comfortable in my seat and it is not good. It's like a quicksand. The harder I tried to get out, the deeper I fall. I would love a fresh start but that would mean I need a new me. Or rather, an old me back. I need to be motivated. I need to see that something will happen in the future. 

So, here's the thing. I screwed up many things for these past few months. What I need to do for a fresh, clean start is that I need to clean up those messes that I made and God knows that it is not going to be easy. Before everything starts crumbling down, I need to get my act together. I need to face the consequences. So, it's going to be a "thick face" phase for me but I deserve that. I need to change desperately. 

It's a new beginning.. finally. Pray for me.

Recep Tayyip Erdogan

Whatever his intention would be, I aplaud him. Someone should speak up. Someone need to say it right to Peres' face. 

Recep Tayyip Erdogan, premier of Turkey, walks past Israeli 

President Shimon Peres, left, and U.N. Secretary-General Ban 

Ki-Moon as he abruptly leaves forum in Davos, Switzerland.

-Associated Press

A new beginning:Really?

Disclaimer [of The Previous Entry]: A moment of weaknes.. well sort of. I realized the consequence but several who knows the story told me to confront him. Out of [avoiding awkward moments] respect, I don't think I will. I was planning to delete the entry but decided not to since I want to acknowledge it. It's there. 

Anyways, haven't write for a while because I have something to tell but just can't find the words to say it. Mostly about how upset I am with what happens in Gaza and my major disappointment in Obama. Currently I am trying to help as much as I can in ways that is possible for me to do, which is very little. I hope I can do more. I talked to many people about this and many says that the only way that we can help is through donation. Of course that is the solution for their short term survival. What about their future? their kids especially? Honest to God, I can't bear thinking of what happens to the children. I can't help but think the trauma they will have to endure (if they survive) by seeing this tragedy. What will become of them? Although, like a good friend of mine pointed it out, the Israelies' armies are targeting the children on purpose. 

I am sure some of you have read this story in The Star, but I would still like to share it with you. 

Kids – victims of senseless war

REPORTING FROM GAZA
By SHAHANAAZ HABIB

GAZA CITY: It was past noon on Jan 7 when Khaled Hamad Abed Rabo noticed three Israeli tanks in front of his house.

One of the soldiers, who spoke Arabic, told the family to get out.

Holding a white flag, Khaled stepped outside with his mother, wife and their three daughters — Amal, two, Samar, four and Soad who just turned seven.

Ruined lives: Nabawiyah Abed Rabo and her children standing in front of what was once their home in Azbet Abed Rabo in Jabaliya. Children are often the victims of war.

“We saw two soldiers outside the tank eating chocolates and chips. They didn’t say anything to us so we just stood there. Then another soldier came out of his tank and started shooting the children,” said an incredulous Khaled yesterday when met outside his destroyed home in Azbet Abed Rabo in Jabaliya.

“He started with the youngest. He shot Amal first. She was standing next to me. I heard her scream and fall. When I picked Amal up, he shot Samar in the stomach and then Soad.”

Khaled said his wife was so shocked that she fainted, adding that the soldier shot his mother three times in the arm. He grabbed Amal, Samar, his mother and wife and ran into the house.

“I had to leave Soad outside because she was already dead.

“While this soldier was shooting, the other two soldiers who were eating chocolates and chips continued eating.”

A neighbour who worked with a clinic had an ambulance and tried to reach them when he heard Khaled’s children screaming.

But the Israeli soldiers shot at the ambulance, forcing the neighbour to retreat. Then, they crushed the ambulance with a tank.

Five minutes later, Amal died in Khaled’s arms.

The Khaled and his terror-stricken family stayed inside the house, but after two hours they felt it was too dangerous to stay.

So, Khaled and his brothers who live next door in the same apartment complex come out together and try to make it to safety.

“When we came out, the soldiers shot into the sky and ground to scare us but they allowed us to leave. One of my brothers carried Soad’s body and I carried Amal while another one of my brothers held Samar,” said Khaled.

“A few hundred metres away, we saw a donkey cart and its ow ner came to help us. But a soldier shot the driver and the donkey. Both of them died.”

Khaled said the family then walk 2.5km until they found a taxi to take them to hospital.

His mother is now recovering, his wife is still mentally traumatised; while Samar is totally paralysed and is being treated in a Belgium hospital.

When Khaled came back after the ceasefire, he found his house reduced to a pile of rubble. He hunted for photographs of his girls but found none.

So, he has been coming back every day since the ceasefire from 7am to 7pm to sit by his home “because my memories are here.”

“My children were always playing around, doing funny things and I can’t accept that they are gone,” he added.

“Soad — she was so clever. She was always coming in first in class and loved computers and the Internet. And Amal, she was so beautiful.”

Khaled said he feels a huge pain in his heart over the loss.

He has no idea why the soldier shot the kids instead of him.

“I did not expect anyone to do such things to kids. Not even in a scary movie,” he said.

When Israel attacked Gaza on Dec 27, Khaled did not evacuate his home because he had been down that road before.

He said in March last year, Israeli tanks had rolled in with 400 soldiers who made his home their hotel for four days.

“They left the house in a mess but they did not kill anyone then,” he said.

Now, he says, he is not sure if he will even rebuild his home because “whom do I build it for? Israel took my family and my home.”

Asked whether he was afraid of Israel now after what they had done, Khaled replied: “When I had a family and my daughters, I was afraid. Now that they have killed my family, I have nothing to fear.”

Khaled, who has worked in Israel, says he likes Israelis in general and is not angry with the people over what has happened.

“I am angry with the Israeli army. I want Israeli citizens to get out of their homes and ask the army what they did and why they did it,” he said.

 

A new day.. A new beginning

It's been a while since I last checked my blog. Of course, TM is to be blamed though I do seriously think it has something to do with the election. It took 2 weeks for them to fix it and it started a while before "penamaan calon" and they fixed it just today, one day after the election. However, we (my brother and I) can't find any other ulterior motives other than the policemen stole our cable. I've yet to rule that out.

Other than that, life is pretty boring. I dropped my handphone the other day. It was its 101th falls and this time it doesn't even broke to pieces and I guess it has make its peace. My phone has retired and although I'm still in mourning period, I appreciate if you guys can give me suggestions on the models for PDA phones. Also, on that note, I don't have any of your numbers. I am using my sister's old phone right now. Fuh..fuh very depressing issue.. moving on......

I hate office politics. I really should have learn to deal with it by now but I am still pretty much clueless. I don't suck up to people though my training consultant would correct me by saying that being nice to your boss doesn't mean that you are sucking up. Nevertheless, I can't do that. I'm used to show people (especially the one who I don't care about) what I really feel about them. So, if I'm nice to you then I honestly am being nice to you. Unless, you are someone that I care about. That is a different story. I care/love you too much to not pretend and hurt you. 

Everyone else, I will be nice to you if you are nice to me. I seriously and seriously don't care if you are my boss or not. I would respect you as long as you respect me by being a good boss. Else, I would definitely be a pain in your neck. Of course, I am talking about a particular someone who won't be happy until he makes my life miserable. The thing is, I never really care about him and I tried oh so hard to make him happy and being extremely nice to him against my better judgement. I even ignore the facts that I know about him that could possibly destroy him, just so that he would leave me alone with my life. A person can only have so much patience and mine is running thin. We'll see.

Other than that, life is pretty much a peach pie. Looks good, smells good and tastes dang good. 

It's 12.52 AM and I'm not really thinking straight.

Magic is might?

Which one comes first, The phoenix or the flame? According to Luna Lovegood, the answer is the circle has no beginning. Well reasoned, but it is not exactly an answer.

A while ago, when I first moved back to Terengganu and did not have a car, I took a cab to my client's place. The driver became quite chatty when he found out that the person that I would be meeting was someone he knew. He was quite smart. He used to work with the government until he retired. I remember that the conversation somehow ended up where I was whining about this one building, in the center of the city that has not been open until now. The construction started at 1997 but was ceased when PAS took over in 1999. The rumors was that the funding of the project was stopped because the federal government wanted that it seems as if with PAS ruling the states, there would be no development. I have no idea if that's true but I wouldn't put it past them. 

When BN took over, the construction has been continued and finished sometime in 2001 if I'm not mistaken. It is 2008 now and it is still not being opened. I was told that they couldn't open it because the building cannot get a CF (Certificate of Fitness) due to the faulty design. The funny thing is, McDonald restaurant was allowed to be opened inside the building. 

Anyway, back to my story. I was whining about that when the pakcik told me that it wouldn't even make a difference. He told me that what we lack of is the purchasing power. He said that even if that place is open, there would be no buyer since most of the people who work in Terengganu are either working with the government, teachers or at the bank. At the time, I just nodded faithfully. It make sense to me. That was February 2007.

It is almost 2 years now and I have learned a thing or two more about politics, economy, and a few other unimportant stuffs. I learned that he was right about the purchasing power but I also learned that the purchasing power doesn't just happen by itself. You have to create it. Creating purchasing power is of course making sure that the employment rate is up. One thing to do that is to let that said building to be filled with stores where people would be employed. 

It's kinda like that flame and the phoenix. You don't want to build a store without buyers. At the same time, there would be no buyer if there's no money, hence job opportunites at the store. Which one comes first? How do we create purchasing power? Who would play the role? Actually Datuk Ahmad Said is the one who have to answer it. His job depended on it. The employment rate has to be up or the development of the state would slow down. I would like to know his strategies in making sure everyone in Terengganu has a job. 

He is afterall the Dumbledore of my Hogwarts, so let's see some magic!

A confession of an acrophobic

He smiled at me urgingly. I can feel my palms starting to sweat. The sun is glaring down on me in this mid-afternoon. For the hundredth time, I glance at the back and see the line behind me is getting longer. Everyone seems eager and impatient. I lean to him and whisper.

"Can I still drop out?

He leans back to me, his aftershave smells of fresh rain.

"It's your choice. But I really hope you won't"

There's a smile in his voice. I look up to him and there's definitely a smile lurking at the corner of his lips. That same boyish smile that make sign up in the first place. I wish he works at a laundry store rather than at this dangerous-I-would-die sports place. Is bungee jumping can even be considered a sport? Did I mention that I am acrophobic?

"I'll be with you" He nodded a few times, still smiling reassuringly.

"Let's jump" I said firmly.. err.. well, sort of.

"Are you sure? He suddenly seems hesitant.

"Ask me again and I'll drop out" I shot him a warning look.

"Allrighty, Rose. You jump, I jump" He smiled teasingly and before I could give a clever retort, I felt a gentle nudge on my back and.................. I'm flyyyingggg...

I felt the adrenaline rush in my head as my body shooting down. Suddenly I can see how blue the sky is. I can smell the scent of the earth. I can hear the birds are singing. Suddenly my conscience is clear and a new strength comes over me.

"How do you like it!? I heard him yell and I suddenly remember that our feet is dangling together, upside down. We are bouncing up and down.

My conscience is clear.

"I love you!! We bounce up.

"Excuse me? He yelled back. Obviously my confession was lost in the air. We bounce down.

"I SAID I LOVE YOU!!! 

And the bouncing stop. He look stunned. Oh ow..

"My wife is the lady at the ticket counter"

Oh crap..

BLOG AWARD??

My sister gave me an award!! haha.. well, she told me that one of the reasons she gave me this because she didn't want to choose between her friends and give it to family. I have received it for quite a while and she have been reminding me. Not that I don't want to do it, but I have the same problem as hers. I want to give it to all my friends but of course it would be more than 5. She said I have another option, which is not to give it to anyone. I don't think I want to do that and I guess I'll have to choose:

Here are the rules

• Perlu dibagi pada orang yang dirasa BEST GILA-GILA
• Hanya terhad kepada 5 orang sahaja
• Sesiapa dapat anugerah ini diwajibkan buat posting kat blog masing-masing.

These are the blogs that I religiously follow these days:

1. Whiteblackwhocares - I love her articles but mostly I love her poems. 

2. Crummy letters - Lots of photos!!! of course her writing isn't bad also.. =)

3. Asrif - Very funny guy. Sangat menghiburkan.. haha

4. Alles - She writes about her and people around her.. It feels familiar..  

5. Sweetylemon - scandalous and funny.. quite a rare combination..

Like I said, these are the blogs that I always follow. I like Syah's too, he's pretty deep, WHEN he's writing.. And Lina Ideris' too, except that many of her writings are of her friends and life in manchester.. so I always quite lost.. hehe.. Fadhil rarely updates her blog anymore since she moved back to Malaysia.. 

Although I did give reasons on why I love those blogs, the truth is I like reading all of my friends' blogs for one simple reason. I like to know what is happening in their life and reading their blogs pretty much help me with that.

English or mother-tongue?

I was waiting for my boss in the lobby when I saw today's The Star. One of the titles that grabbed my attention was the one about the debate whether Math and Science should be taught in English or in the mother tongue. The Star reported that before the final roundtable meeting yesterday, seven proposals were put as follows:

>       Stick to Mathematics and Science in English;

>        Revert to Bahasa Malaysia;

>        Let primary schools teach both subjects in the mother tongue and secondary schools use English;

>        Let primary schools decide for themselves;

>        Mathematics and Science be taught in Bahasa Malaysia and mother tongue for Years One to Three and in English from Year Four onwards;

>        A combination of mother tongue in the first three years and a choice of mother tongue or English after that; and

>        The two subjects will not be taught in Years One to Three and instead be integrated into other subjects.

I remember that this issue has been debated for years and the concurrences and objections were equally voiced. Both parties have good intentions and both were fairly argued. 

As for me, I do understand the importance of our mother tongue. I do honor my own language and would love if it is being widely used. I also understand that it is a lot easier to learn in your first language. Europian countries such as Germany proved that they are equally good as the English spoken countries especially in automotive engineering. Japan is another close example that honor their own language and is still able to be one of the countries with the most advanced technology. Many uses these two examples in proving that it would be a lot better to use our own language. I can understand that and I would want to do the same too. Just not now.

One of the reasons is that many science books were written in English or other languages. Even if math and science were being taught in the mother tongue language in school, they would still have to study in English when they went to college. Should they have learned the terms before hand, it would lessen the struggle of learning in college. Another issue that might be brought up is that those science books should be translated into mother tongue language. 

While I agree to that, I also know that it cannot be done immediately. Although, that plan should MUST be discussed now and milestone should be constructed. Many issues would be addressed in this process. For instance, Malay language does not have as many verbs. What we have been doing lately are transforming English verbs to Malay by changing one to two letters. Introducing totally new verbs would be quite confusing. However, if it were being used widely, it will settle in gradually. Translating books are not necessarily only from English books. I know that there are many great books in other languages such as French, Dutch, Arab and evenmore. I also know there are many translators out there like my friends Syu (French, Arab, Spanish?), Ainur(French) and Fadhil(German) but these talents are not being utilized. 

What make it more disappointing is that these people that I know and the many more that I do not know are yearned to be given a chance to help. Give them a platform to generate ideas and to contribute. You would be surprised how talented these people are. If Facebook, Friendster, Wiki and Google can be translated into Malay, why not books? Educational books, specifically.

In conclusion, I agree that we would learn/understand better in our mother tongue language but I also agree that the teaching of math and science in English should be continued at least for another three years. I wish that our education ministry would set up a project dedicated to translating informations into mother tongue and another project of studying and doing analysis on Malay language on every level, from its origins to what would be the best way of introducing new verbs. I vote for Ungku Aziz for the advisor. Should this projects are initiated, I would be the first in line. 

When Reality Intrudes

So much has been going on lately. I can't say much. In fact, I don't say much. Some wonderful news. Some not so much. Some even very confusing. If you think I am talking about you, just know that I'm not. For all these recent events, I can't help thinking that we really don't know people as much as we thought we did. Even when we thought we know it all, they will still surprise us. With that being said, I don't judge you. In fact, I can't. I have done enought doubtful things. I have my own reasons, I trust you have yours too. Just know that, whatever that you do today, will come back haunting you one day. There are many things that time could not mend. No skeleton can stay in the closet for too long. 

Mine is forcing its way out. 

The truth is, we are all alone in this world. People only knows us as much as we let them to. Underneath it all, it was a rather lonely road.

Books and Elly?

I am so excited! I bought three new books yesterday. 

1. Religion under siege? Lina Joy, the Islamic State and Freedom of Faith by a pool of authors.

2. Khalid Memburu Syahid by Abdul Latip Talib

3. The girl with the dragon tattoo by Stieg Larson

I usually try to restrain myself from buying more than 2 books everytime I went to a bookstore. But I love those titles. I was having troubles in choosing Khalid Memburu Syahid or Hikayat Amir Hamzah (part 1) and decided to take the former one since I have been in love with Khalid Al-Walid since I was a kid. 

Since all the books were wrapped in plastic cover, I can only read the synopsis at the back. So, when I got home, I unwrapped all three books and started going through them. I have to say that I am a little disappointed.

I started with "Khalid Memburu Syahid", naturally. I thought that it would be some sort of a biography of Khalid Al-Walid but it turned out that it is a novel with many dialogues. It is a little boring and I ended up reading his biography on the net.

I went for "Religion Under Siege? Lina Joy, The Islamic State and Freedom of Faith" written by Nathaniel Tan & John Lee. Or at least that is what I thought I saw on the cover. Turned out that the book was edited by them. The authors are many. The book is a collection of blog entries that discussed that issue. Major disappointment. I can simply read them on the net. Besides, I am quite sure that I have actually read most of it. 

Last but definitely not the least, I opened "The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo". I have only read the first 5 pages and I am already impressed. This is going to be an exciting read. I just know it. It was originally written by Stieg Larsson in Swedish but was translated to English by Reg Keeland. 

John Burdett, one of the reviewer, reviewed the book as a "Tolstoyan re-invention of the 'closed room' murder mystery, Agatha Christie for adults.. It's also a profound investigation into tribal violence in the world of high finance, and a revelation of the dark side of a country normally seen as the very height of priopriety.." Now, now, doesn't that sound interesting?

Like I said, I have only read the first 5 pages but I am very looking forward to finish it. Unfortunately, I know it's going to take sometimes since I'm pretty occupied these days. It's going to stay in my handbag for quite sometimes. 

On another note, Elly is getting married this January, yay!! Sheila wrote a touching letter to Elly in her latest entry. I wish I can do the same but I don't really know what to say except that I am so happy for her. She is a wonderful person, a great friend and is going to be a lovely wife. Any man is considered lucky to have her. Elly, Congratulations and I wish you a lifetime of happiness. You deserve it.

Shooing the butterflies

It has been a while since I feel this nervous..

May Allah make it easier..

I long for Friday..

There are butterflies all around..

I wish I can skip Thursday. 

Syu, I tried.

A Thousand Splendid Suns

Khaled Hosseini did wonders, yet again. After Syu introduced me to his first book, The Kite Runner, I fell in love instantly. It was by far (at the time) one of the best fictions I have ever read. It is hard for me to re-read the book because everytime I opened the book, I was drowned in Amir's guilt and it hurts so much that it makes me nauseous. Seriously. There is a little of Afghanistan culture mentioned, since the story was set in Kabul. Still, the story is mostly about making amends.

When I saw his second book, A Thousand Splendid Suns, on the top shelf in Popular Bookstore in Mesra Mall, I was very skeptical. It is very common that many authors did their best job in their first book but fails to do the same in the second. There I was, in the bookstore, holding the book feeling skeptical despite the many good reviews and compliments on the cover. I bought it still. I mean, it maybe not as good as the first one but it couldn't be that bad, isn't it?

Oh, how wrong I was. A Thousand Splendid Suns is every emotion put into one story. It was incredible, an amazing read. Two women, two generations, both were brought up differently, brought together by fate. Mariam, who forever let people choose for her, found herself making decision when she meets Laila. Laila, whose dreams shatters at a sound of a whistle and is now forced to abide to other's decision. 

From Herat to Kabul, my heart jumps and stops in every twist of events. I wept at little Mariam's despair and I smiled at Laila's love story. I cringed at Rasheed's name and hoped at Tariq's. Taliban, Afghanistan, war, love, hate, despair, all blend together in this gripping story.

I guess women would connect more to this book because in this life, you are either a Mariam or a Laila. Given that situation, who would you become? There's nothing wrong with either because both are brave in their own way. As for me, I am more drawn to Mariam's character. Not that I can relate to her. In fact on the contrary. Mariam is everything that I am not. It would require a different level of bravery when you voluntarily walk to your own death for other people's sake. 

All in all, I love this book. Khaled Hosseini mentioned that the title was a part of a 17th century poem called Kabul by a Persian poet Saib-e-Tabrizi. It was translated into English by Josphine Davis. Although, it is not a literal translation, but it has been generally accepted. 

Kabul Ah! How beautiful is Kabul encircled by her arid mountains
And Rose, of the trails of thorns she envies
Her gusts of powdered soil, slightly sting my eyes
But I love her, for knowing and loving are born of this same dust
My song exhalts her dazzling tulips
And at the beauty of her trees, I blush
How sparkling the water flows from Pul-I Bastaan!
May Allah protect such beauty from the evil eye of man!
Khizr chose the path to Kabul in order to reach Paradise
For her mountains brought him close to the delights of heaven
From the fort with sprawling walls, A Dragon of protection
Each stone is there more precious than the treasure of Shayagan
Every street of Kabul is enthralling to the eye
Through the bazaars, caravans of Egypt pass
One could not count the moons that shimmer on her roofs
And the thousand splendid suns that hide behind her walls
Her laughter of mornings has the gaiety of flowers
Her nights of darkness, the reflections of lustrous hair
Her melodious nightingales, with passion sing their songs
Ardent tunes, as leaves enflamed, cascading from their throats
And I, I sing in the gardens of Jahanara, of Sharbara
And even the trumpets of heaven envy their green pastures